Follow Up to Crazy Coffe People from the Washington Post

Tiff Over Espresso Protocol Spills Into Blogosphere
By Joe Heim
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, July 16, 2008; 3:05 PM

Who knew a single cup of coffee could create such a tempest in a teapot?
Certainly not Jeff Simmermon, whose request for a triple shot of espresso over ice at Murky Coffee in Arlington has turned into a heated Internet squabble, sparked intense debate on whether the customer is indeed always right and provided yet another reminder of the intended and unintended consequences of blog posts.
The drink request Sunday, says the 32-year-old Brooklyn resident, was denied by a barista who told him Murky doesn't do espresso over ice. Irked, Simmermon then asked for a triple espresso and a cup of ice, which he says the barista provided grudg . . . ing. . . . ly.
Service. No smile.
Then -- and this is still Simmermon's account -- the barista scolded him! He lectured that what Simmermon was doing to his espresso was "not okay" and that the store's policy was to preserve the quality of the drink, and that allowing customers to dilute espresso was not in keeping with said policy.
Coffee rage moment in 3, 2, 1 . . . .
Simmermon interrupted the barista with an angry blast about how he'd have his coffee any way he pleased, thank you very much, and he had his own personal policy about doing what he wants with the products he pays for. He mixed in a couple of expletives, but that was the essence of it.
That might have been the end of the snarly caffeine saga, but Simmermon did what comes naturally to literate victims of everyday 21st century perceived injustices. He blogged about it. In a lengthy post on his Web site And I Am Not Lying For Real Simmermon detailed the encounter, his anger, and, somewhat befuddlingly, his subsequent order at Murky an hour later for the "strongest iced beverage your policy will allow." He also posted a picture of the dollar bill he left as tip on which he had written "[naughty word-deleted] you and your precious coffee policy."
As coffee shops are little more than waystations and IV drips for bloggers, it's not surprising that Simmermon's post quickly made the rounds on the interwebs. Murky's owner, Nicholas Cho, was alerted to the dispute and responded with a stinging open letter on the cafe's Web site. He defended his berated barista, David Flynn, and ticked off a litany of store policies that would have made even Seinfeld's Soup Nazi duck for cover:
"No modifications to the Classic Cappuccino. No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate (during the months we offer it). No espresso in a to-go cup. No espresso over ice. These are our policies. We have our reasons, and we're happy to share them."
At his cafe today, Cho explained his policy: "The way we do espresso is different than what people are used to. It's a very exacting technique . . . when you pour it over ice it creates a certain acidic reaction that makes the drink sour."
He also pointed out that some customers have the audacity to order an espresso over ice, then fill the glass with milk at the dairy bar -- creating their own iced latte at a significant savings.
In the his letter on Murky's site, Cho offered this: "To others reading this I will say that if you don't like the policies, I respectfully recommend that you find some other place that will give you what you want, or select something that we can offer you."
But for Simmermon, who in his original post had said he would only return to Murky Coffee "carrying matches and a can of kerosene," Cho's anger was undiluted.
"While I certainly won't bemoan you your right to free-speech," he wrote, "I have to respond to you in your own dialect: [naughty word deleted] you, Jeff Simmermon. Considering your public threat of arson, you'll understand when I say that if you ever show your face at my shop, I'll punch you in your [another naughty word deleted].
Whew, decaf anyone?
The battle of the blogs escalated, and soon a cabal of caffeinated commenters weighed in passionately.
On a typical day Murky's Web site receives 200 visits. On Tuesday, there were more than 15,000 Cho said today. And his email inbox is filled with both vitriol and commendations.
Simmermon says his post on l'affaire Murky drew record hits for him, too, 100,000 visits at last count. Reached today he expressed regrets. "I have mixed feelings about it and I'm not really proud of the behavior that triggered this," he said. "These things take on a life of their own and I don't want to be a part of it. He had a bad day, the owner had a bad day and I had a bad day. That's all."
For his part, Cho is also ready to move on if not exactly back down.
"You have to fight blog with blog," Cho says with a laugh. "That's the price you pay when you throw your words out there."
Both Cho and Simmermon seemed astounded at the amount of commentary the blogs have received.
"Ultimately, it's just coffee," says Cho.
Exactly. Can't we all just get a latte?