Cigarettes

Last night was one of many say good bye to Pete happy hours. I write this because all night all I wanted was a smoke but I didnt and it was hard. Last night, I would have licked an ash tray with half smoked butts if given the chance. It also felt nice to have a drink in my hand, the weight of the glass, the clinkiness of the ice, the warmth of the alcohol. It felt good but I barely could contain my cigarette craving. I went upstairs twice to look outside to see who was smoking...but I didnt see anybody I know. On a seperate note, I know the smoking ban is good but man it seems so Disney World...everything seems so nice and clean. I started with vodka tonic. Vodka tonic isnt really a drink as much as it is a palate cleanser for sweet delicious Bourbon. Bourbon is a great, it is sweet and silky and it warms you like no other...ummmmm. This afternoon the discussion of starting drinking again came up. I do miss it...I miss cigarettes and cocktails. ijust odnt think I can stop myself from smoking again.