New Rules

If you get suckling pig at a restaurant the skin must be crispy and the meat slow cooked so it is fall off the bone. If it isn't then ask the chef to deep fry the whole thing and bust out the steamed rice and the vinegar and garlic.

If you sell chili dogs you must have good chili.

HD channels should be free.

If you think you recognize someone that you havent seen for awhile say, "Hi." If you dont say "Hi" you'll end up feeling like a dope when you read their tweet or facebook update and you realize it was them.

OpenTable saves time and the embarrassment of not getting a table.

Semi-Annual 50% off sale from Brooks Brothers. Know it. Learn it. Live it.

Just go catch some waves you'll feel better.

Open and Read all of your mail. You could find a treat.

Actually, reduce your paper mail. Its better for you.

There is no good restaurant coffee. it doesnt exist. Stop spending 2.50 for shitty french press.

Know where your local new york style pizza joint is

One Patagonia MLC is good, two is better, three is just plain kooky but totally acceptable.

Dont let angry driver, drive you. Its not worth the stress.

Always have the trump picture of your cutest niece or nephew.

I cant emphasis this enough, Recession CapSwell says $6.50 matinee is the only way to go.

In honor of MJ, everyone where high waters and white socks.